You may find this article in Becker’s Hospital Review amusing. I did. It starts out immediately showing what administrators are thinking:

Healthcare C-suites are zeroing in on system “redesigns” to provide more care and services with fewer staff members and tighter margins than ever before.

Redesigns with fewer staff members? Why is it never fewer administrators?

But wait there’s more:

“We recognize that the challenges the healthcare industry faces provide an opportunity for radical paradigm shifts to increase efficiency, and we understand that many pivots and course corrections are needed to maintain a positive financial outlook,” Wendy Horton, PharmD, CEO of UVA Medical Center in Charlottesville, Va., told Becker’s. “We are implementing pipeline programs, leveraging technology, and creating flexible workforces to support our teams. We are also modernizing care delivery and patient progression, focusing on essential areas like our emergency department. We’re in the midst of a multi-year initiative that will transform outpatient access and deliver a consistent patient experience while enhancing provider satisfaction.”

Ok, you caught me. I honestly don’t what she just said above. I fell asleep after the first line.

The rest of the article is just the same. It’s the same crap the administrators have said for years. They just change titles. Hell, one dude is now the Chief Transformation Officer (I finally got around to why I put that image above).

And what are they spouting about? Artificial intelligence. AI has made administrators everywhere orgasmic. Any time they see a way to replace doctors they are all in. Is it a coincidence that AI is also cheaper?

Here’s one more:

Liz Popwell, chief strategy and transformation officer at Stoney Brook (N.Y.) Medicine said the system’s growth strategy had to transform to focus on outpatient care and partnerships to keep up with the changing healthcare space at both the health system and medical school.

“We’re not thinking about what’s the care model of today,” she said. “We’re thinking about what’s the care model 10 years from now”.

Liz, you’re wrong. In fact, all the supposed “Transformers” in the article are wrong. It’s the model of 50 years in the past, with a membership twist, that works. Direct Primary Care is EVERYTHING these morons are dreaming about but instead of using AI and technology to replace doctors, we use it as an adjunct to help us treat patients.

Do you know what isn’t needed for the past, present, or future model of care? Administrators.