There’s Nothing Worse than a Sick Doctor

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There’s nothing worse than a sick doctor. Honestly, shouldn’t health be a benefit of the profession? You don’t see a mechanic driving a jalopy or a dentist with bad teeth. Between the constant stress from worrying about our patients, the broken sleep due to middle of the night pages, the over-imbibing of red wine (to raise HDL!), and the drug rep donuts, our cortisol levels are sky-high. Being a doctor may as well be its own form of immunodeficiency. Throw in frequent exposure to sick patients, and it’s a recipe for illness. 

In residency, if we each worked exactly 80 hours per week, we could just barely cover the hospital. If someone called out sick, it meant that other residents would need to cover those hours and care for those patients. It was generally understood that if you were not sick enough to be admitted to the hospital, you were expected to show up to the hospital, as scheduled, to work your shift. Following our 30 hour shifts, we struggled to keep our eyes open as we drove home, both fearing and fantasizing about getting into a wreck, with injuries just severe enough for a luxurious and restful hospital stay. 

When I caught a cold, I would inevitably suffer for weeks, stumbling through the hospital, foggy from a combination of antihistamines, decongestants and sleep deprivation, with Kleenex and cough drops spilling out of the pockets of my white coat. 

As an attending working in the system, it was even worse to call out sick. Patients were scheduled out three months in advance, so missing work would result either in double-booking these patients with colleagues or rescheduling them in several months. Besides, doctors work on commission, so calling out sick means not getting paid. It took a year to save up enough money to afford each 6 week maternity leave.

In January 2020, before the pandemic, I was still moonlighting in an urgent care, and there was a nasty viral infection going around. The entire urgent care staff had it, most of us sick for weeks with bronchitis. I was symptomatic for six weeks, doing nebulizer treatments between patients, most of them presenting with similar symptoms. 

When I’m sick, I suffer on two levels. First come the physical symptoms: the sore throat, the sinus and chest congestion, the sinus pressure and headaches, the cough, the mucus, OH THE MUCUS! The brain fog during the day and the difficulty sleeping at night. This part is non-negotiable. On top of that is the emotional suffering, which is completely optional. I used to feel OH SO SORRY FOR MYSELF! It felt so unfair to be so sick for so long and to have to spend that time continuing to work long days caring for patients only to return home to care for my children. Typically, my husband would have the exact same viral infection, only it would have rendered him completely incapacitated, unable to go to work or help out at home with the kids. Although, the duration of said Man Cold would invariably resolve quicker than mine.

Since leaving the system, I’ve had colds, but they have been so much milder and shorter. Is it due to the discovery of the miracle of Vitamin D? (Finally, we have the cure for the common cold!) Perhaps, it’s simply that my DPC practice now affords me the time and space to care for myself the way my husband always has, with time off, rest and self-compassion. It could also be that I’m only experiencing the physical symptoms because there’s no longer any need for emotional suffering. If I choose to reschedule patients, their appointments will only be delayed by a week or two, and they often send well wishes for my recovery because they truly care about my wellbeing, as I care about theirs. They probably also appreciate me keeping my germs to myself…because there’s nothing worse than a sick doctor.

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About Emily O'Rourke, MD

Dr. Emily O'Rourke started Fountain Direct Primary Care, the very first DPC practice in Hampton Roads, Virginia, in October 2018. She enjoys working with her patients on individualized treatment plans, including lifestyle modification, in order to transform their physical and mental health and help them achieve their goals and live more fulfilling lives. She also serves as an FAA Aviation Medical Examiner and performs Veteran Disability Examinations. Dr. O'Rourke was born and raised in the state of Nebraska, and she graduated with distinction from the University of Nebraska - Lincoln. She completed her medical education at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in 2010. She served as Chief Resident during her final year of the Eastern Virginia Medical School Portsmouth Family Medicine residency program. Dr. O'Rourke is Board Certified in Family Medicine through both the American Board of Family Medicine and the National Board of Physicians and Surgeons. Dr. O'Rourke lives in Chesapeake, Virginia with her husband, Jimmy, and their two sons, Logan and Jackson. She practices yoga regularly and enjoys creative pursuits, including crocheting and playing the cello.