It can be as simple as enjoying coffee and chocolate
He walks into the office with a beautiful smile and a new glow on his face. His abdominal pain has improved, and he is so happy. “Dr Soto, I am having coffee and chocolate again. And I don’t like that milk chocolate, I love dark chocolate! I get to see my brothers on the weekends and enjoy food with them. I am playing pickleball and feel better.” I affirmed this was great news and that he deserves to live a great life.
He had initially come to my office with heartache in his gut and a slump to his shoulders. He shared of having been born in Vietnam and his family moving to the US with very little to their name. His parents lovingly worked in their restaurants to feed their children, and the siblings remain close to this day. He wore the grief of his mother’s recent death like a heavy cloak. His sad eyes reminded me of a gentle St Bernard dog who holds emotions with honor.
As I got to know him, I reminded him that he could enjoy life and that a super restrictive diet might not be necessary. He had his labs and a colonoscopy with endoscopy. We treated his H pylori, and the GI doctor found no evidence of H. pylori present. I acknowledged how diligent he has been with his health and noted the efforts he put forth. A healthy diet with food and beverages he enjoys can be a wonderful addition to his life. I shared that it is also not only what we eat but how we feel when we eat it that can be important. If food is weaponized, it can indeed become a weapon.
He shared that his partner told him, “Ever since you have been seeing Dr Soto you seem to be eating better and enjoying yourself.” I exclaimed “YES-you did that!” I believe that patients heal themselves and I am privileged to hold up a mirror to remind them how wonderful they are. It is a deep honor to facilitate and witness their journeys.
Finding the middle path in life can bring us balance, calmness and enjoyment. The bells and whistles can be a delicious sip of coffee, a tasty piece of chocolate and the company of people we love. Like the Album by Christina Aguilera in the 1990’s Back to Basics, we can come back to our natural selves and live in a place of self-love, peace and equanimity. With the help of my therapist, I have learned to regulate my central nervous system and am deeply fulfilled by supporting my patients in learning to co-regulate theirs along with me. And all we need to do is show up. And that is indeed the most basic thing of all!
Update-Christina Aguilera’s album Back to Basics was released in 2006 not in the 1990’s.